I'm back! And I feel 100x better. As I return back from my 5 day block out, I feel refresh. I week ago I was going through a stage that I don't know what exactly to call it but it consisted of anxiety attacks, headaches and very little sleep. My weekly orders when from 7 average a week to 15 a week. Doubling my orders without decreasing my workload was not in my plans and came so fast that I couldn't catch my breath. Now I know many are thinking that I'm crazy for not enjoying 2+ orders a day as a minimum and I know it may seem weird that I didn't find any joy in it but until you experience it do not judge. So after 2 straight months of making enough to take care of every bill I'm committed to just off of art sales I took a break.
Well I kinda took a break. I closed down my Etsy shop, put my emails on auto reply and didn't think about answering any DMs or comments. A lot of people understood and thats all that matters. However, while on my "break" I was actually still doing work. Planning my next few projects, emptying out pending orders, booked another show, and regained my focus on why I started creating in the first place. I wrote out things I wasn't going to let bother me anymore and created a schedule for my art life. Oh and I actually went through a few intern resumes (hopefully I'll have one by the end of this month). And after 5 days of relaxing, eating all I could eat, sleeping in late, going to work on time and enjoying peace and happiness I decided I ready again.
This time I wanted to return with a new mindset. The first thing I released upon my reopen was a new addition to the Boss Doll Collection - my Lemon Doll. I've been creating planners for a few weeks now and I wanted something that'd be classy and chic for a #girlboss office space. Be Your Own Boss is the motto behind my Boss Doll Collection! It holds the very thing I speak towards every day to family, friends and supporters. I realize that I was losing my control of my business by getting consumed in customer request, their opinion on what I should do, when I should release something and how long it should take for me to create it. That's where the world had me f*Xkd up! My gift is to inspire others, motivate the unmotivated and be the strong superwoman I am. I was letting my "supporters" take that from me by giving in to every single thing they wanted. I forgot that I started creating things that were relevant to me, my life and my beliefs that thats what has been setting me apart for some time now. I was becoming a predictable artist who did everything the public wanted and nothing of what she wanted.
I didn't realize how unhappy I was the past two months. I wasn't hating my life, or unhappy with myself. I was just not happy with what I was doing and why people were supporting me. I was not feeling the direction my art was going in and the money wasn't making me feel better. Now that I have recharged and refocused my attention to making sure I happy first I know it'll reflect in my work. Being happy with yourself, your creation, the reward and the sacrifices (of course no one is truly happy at the time of given up something) is a necessity in surviving the business of being your own boss. The best part of life is that you can keep trying until you find what truly make you happy. I'm sure this will not be my last time needing to take a break to regroup and I'll apologize to let the world know that I need time for myself.
Ways to find a happier you:
- Explore a new place, try a new food, learn something new
- Rest ! Rest ! Rest !
- Take it slow ! -- and REST some more
- Keep positive people in your circle
- Listen to your body -- and REST
- Never compare your happiness with someone else's
- Read -- I read inspiration blogs written by regular people like myself daily